charlesnaismith: (Default)
Tantric cars,
Steel unmasks

Bright swerving, slowing, stopping
No rhyme, too bloody late a night

Stupid wheels, meaningless travel
Rhymeless stopping, make way
tiny, unmagnifiable traffic

Wasted years add up
by aversion therapy, fines, cops,

unbothered, empty streets poured
out alone musical accompaniment pumping

Sharp turns, tingly awake, early,
hearts surcease; for the world ends
just out of sight.

circadian rhythm syncopates
against the sun
Neurons march to this beat
to fire in time, the mind longs
to fill the darkness.
charlesnaismith: (Default)
Going through some of my old school things this popped up. I wrote it sometime during my last two years of high school.


Soft, Feathers,
Steel, midnight blue,
Sanskrit writing pearly hued,
Cold scales, claws and face,

Pure reptile, no fish or mammal,
No walls, no bounds freedom,
more than mine, in flight,
Crazed worshipers with,
jaundiced eyes.

Mighty Flying, Silent power,
Little people walk alone at
night in places cold or green
Silent Snatch for quiet catch
The people disappear.

Weapon, villain, or other we wonder?
to rumble about
without an answer.
And the little people
do not return

charlesnaismith: (Default)
Coping with intellectual hypocrisy contradiction is what adulting is all about.

Many examples spring to mind; studying historical fencing is one. You read the book, and try to understand what the author is saying across a context gap of maybe 600 years and someone else's translation. After you think you understand you try to apply the model to strike another person without being struck in return. When you are offended (old fashioned word for struck) you try to figure out if it happened because a) the model is wrong, b) your understanding of the model is wrong, or c) you didn't apply the model properly. When thinking about the problem you have to accept that the model you understand is simultaneously True, and Untrue.

There are more than two ways to think about punishing children too. You can treat them as a human being and reason your way out of trouble or you can treat them as not yet capable of reason and use force to achieve compliance. A baby isn't capable of reason, and an adult is theoretically reasonable. Using force on an adult is usually wrong, and allowing a child to hurt itself or others is also wrong.

What is an LJ for ? is it for yourself or for an audience. If it's for yourself why put it online at all, and if it's for an audience what do you get out of it. I think for me the audience is a humanity check. Writing or doing anything alone can become more and more eccentric. Being human is best done in a group. Sheri Tepper had a rather nice fantasy novel theory about people not being born with souls but developing them over time. Growing your soul requires examples, models things to react to.

Life news, today is the last day of the financial year and I have mostly got my affairs in order. Wifey has accepted rather more work next financial year which will impact my centrelink income significantly. She has done this in order to ensure financial stability before we have a child near the end of this year.  The time to consolidate our finances is growing nearer. 

I finished a semester of full time university three weeks ago and my results are beginning come through now. I studied Italian, Shakespearian literature, and US foreign policy since 1945. Looks like I will get about 80% for Italian, 75% for literature, and 85% for history; which is the best I have ever done in one semester. Next semester however I will be studying Italian only though - full time study doesn't suit my business or personal plans. Next week I will be working on a minor renovation for a friend which will hopefully be the last project I take on to bankroll my business.

The business is going reasonably well. I have many more students than this time last year and teach many more classes - eight a week, two on Tuesdays and Fridays, and four on Saturdays. I love the intellectual challenge of interpreting texts and teaching students but I am starting to feel the bite of competition. Unfortunately being a teacher and a competitor is very difficult not only are times to train myself hard to find but the teachers mindset is hard to avoid when sparring.

The house is beginning to get back under control. Full time university, running a business, a pregnant wife meant that cleaning was very low on my list of priorities. It's nice to have the time for frivolity like LJ and I am looking forward to being more social outside of fencing soon too.

This week

May. 19th, 2016 02:39 pm
charlesnaismith: (Edward Elric)

Continuing with theme of posting random crap somewhere.


This week I had my birthday, and continued to keep everything ticking along. I got confirmation that my order of swords that I have been waiting for a response on since January has been accepted and will be delivered in July (which is when I have to come up with the cash). Amusingly I had given up on the order ever being responded to and ordered more swords from other suppliers. There will hopefully be no more interruptions in the supply of swords to Melbourne. 

This week is the end of week 11 of the university semester and I have only two weeks to go until all of the assessment is done, next week is the last week of classes. Full time study, is not for me. The combination of one thing that should have your full attention (uni) and another that should have your full attention (martial arts school) with two more things that should have some attention (social life, and caring duties) does not work. I expect myself to have a tidy home too ;)

I have been studying Italian, the history of US foreign policy in the 20th C, and Shakespeare. History and Italian have been very interesting and I can see the value in studying them. Literature has been much more of a struggle, the material is interesting but I haven't been able to figure out exactly what the lecturer wants from me or what purpose university level literature study has. The disorganisation of the subject has definitely not helped.

I was using duolingo to study Italian before commencing university study. I thought it would give me a significant advantage, but I was wrong. Mostly it gave me the confidence to make attempts at the language and get it wrong, a lot. What has been helpful has been using Anki and trying to upload the content of every lesson as flashcards to study on the tram to and from uni. Even if I get bored of the cards, the act of entering the data seems to be helpful in remembering it.

One of the benefits of going to uni again is practicing writing under time pressure. I was able to write this post in about 10 minutes. It probably shows.

charlesnaismith: (Default)
I haven't posted since this time last year. Having been writing more for study recently I find myself wondering what this journal is for / means to me. There are many other places I could write stuff: my martials blog has been languishing for a while and I could always put out an update on facebook. These fora don't meet my needs though.

This journal isn't private, but it is personal. I can write about whatever I like here, at whatever length I like.

Yesterday I spent my entire day at home reading shakespeare so I could submit some crap about it before 9 pm. Today, I read some fanfiction and saw a good friend for lunch at the vic market. When I got home I did all the things and was then struck by a sense of pointlessness. My life has consistently consisted of periods of lethargy and pointless free time followed by frantic anxiety and haste to get something done.

A long time ago I used to idly fancy being famous or having something named after me so that I would be remembered after I die. Then I asked myself, what is the point ? I'll be dead. I resolved to live as happy a life as I could, unfortunately defining happy is pretty difficult. When I am busy and don't take care of myself properly, or when I am stressed by money, I feel down. When I have cash, I don't have time, and when I have can guess the rest.

This afternoon I felt sad, so I started cooking - feeling sad usually means I am hungry. I played some Billy Bragg and wrote this. Time for some more music now.
charlesnaismith: (Default)
On Saturday morning, I taught the first class at my new HEMA school using wasters that had only been finished 3 hours before class. In the afternoon [ profile] rain_and_snow took me to Koko Black to celebrate and in the evening we watched Naruto. We're up to episode 200 and after about 50 episodes of filler the show is finally getting interesting again.

Sunday I lazed about and met up with my Spadone (Italian greatsword) study group in the afternoon, managing to convince my friend who is new to Spadone that he wants one.

Monday was spent having Yum Cha at Gold Leaf in Docklands for a friends birthday. The food was good though the prices are a little higher than I am used to. We went on to flagstaff gardens to enjoy board games in the shade. I mostly lay there digesting and enjoying conversation.

My current reading is Make it Stick: the Science of Successful Learning. Which is engaging and also laid out using the methodology it writes about. The emphasis so far is on the importance of testing and variation as learning tools; it's nice using Duolingo at the same time and seeing these methods in practice.

I am hoping to write more and use dreamwidth as a fast (i.e. not proof read) blogging place. The reflective practice (also mentioned in Make it Stick) should help me remember my life better too.

charlesnaismith: (Default)
 I am at the airport now after having spent the last month in Finland. My time here was mostly spent training in swordsmanship for anywhere between 2 and 6 hours a day.

Other than swordfighting stuff, I have visited Lapland, which was the coldest environment I have ever visited and it didn't even reach -20 C. I also walked across a frozen lake and enjoyed the sauna with rolling in the snow, I rolled in the snow 4 times but C was only willing to do it once. While we were in Lapland for three nights we didn't get to see the Aurora, it was cloudy for two nights and there was no aurora on the third.

I thought I would have lots of time to write and work on websites while I was staying here but I haven't had as much focus as I thought I would in fact I haven't even spent as much time on solo training as I was expecting to. Partly this is because my expectations were unrealistic but I also spent much of my time watching TV shows with my Chilean housemate at the Salle, where I have been staying. 

On the topic of which Avatar the legend of Korra is really good, every season is different and the conflicts the characters are trying to solve come organically out of the previous series solutions as well as repercussions of the characters own actions. Gotham is also pretty good.

Helsinki is a small place and generally very cold by my standards, thankfully I have an excellent coat and I had plenty of things to do while I was here but I don't think it would be a good place to visit solely as a tourist. I fly to Gdansk in Poland in a few minutes where I don't plan on doing any sword training whatsoever, which should be good.
charlesnaismith: (Default)
 I am in a cafe in Finland I arrived yesterday and am staying at the Swordschool Salle. Everything is more expensive than I thought it might be but at least accommodation is free.

Tomas is an armorer from Chile and is staying at the salle for the same period I am, he has the advantage of having been here before so we have come into the city to use the internet and get a sim card for internet at the salle. It is very handy having him around as he knows how to get from place to place and to avoid eye contact on buses - it is dreadfully rude here apparently.

It's very cold but my clothes are meeting the challenge so far and I still have more warm clothes to add later on. This journal will probably be a bit stream of conciousness for a while. I am hoping to write up something more thought out for the other blog soon though I need to reflect on Swordfish and my introduction to Finland.


Nov. 3rd, 2014 08:24 pm
charlesnaismith: (Durer)
I am on holiday for three months in Europe. I began my trip last Monday, arriving in Berlin on Tuesday. Two nights were spent there and then I traveled to Goteborg Sweden for a three day sword fighting event. I wandered around Goteborg today and saw Anne Elk in the zoo. Tomorrow I fly to Helsinki where I will stay for about five weeks before moving onto Poland and onto the rest of my trip.

I am going to try to blog more often while I am away and my more martial arts focused blogging will as usual go to Gilbertwolghope.


charlesnaismith: (Default)

December 2016



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