time to post more about how I feel
May. 13th, 2016 05:08 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
charlesnaismithI haven't posted since this time last year. Having been writing more for study recently I find myself wondering what this journal is for / means to me. There are many other places I could write stuff: my martials blog has been languishing for a while and I could always put out an update on facebook. These fora don't meet my needs though.
This journal isn't private, but it is personal. I can write about whatever I like here, at whatever length I like.
Yesterday I spent my entire day at home reading shakespeare so I could submit some crap about it before 9 pm. Today, I read some fanfiction and saw a good friend for lunch at the vic market. When I got home I did all the things and was then struck by a sense of pointlessness. My life has consistently consisted of periods of lethargy and pointless free time followed by frantic anxiety and haste to get something done.
A long time ago I used to idly fancy being famous or having something named after me so that I would be remembered after I die. Then I asked myself, what is the point ? I'll be dead. I resolved to live as happy a life as I could, unfortunately defining happy is pretty difficult. When I am busy and don't take care of myself properly, or when I am stressed by money, I feel down. When I have cash, I don't have time, and when I have time...you can guess the rest.
This afternoon I felt sad, so I started cooking - feeling sad usually means I am hungry. I played some Billy Bragg and wrote this. Time for some more music now.
This journal isn't private, but it is personal. I can write about whatever I like here, at whatever length I like.
Yesterday I spent my entire day at home reading shakespeare so I could submit some crap about it before 9 pm. Today, I read some fanfiction and saw a good friend for lunch at the vic market. When I got home I did all the things and was then struck by a sense of pointlessness. My life has consistently consisted of periods of lethargy and pointless free time followed by frantic anxiety and haste to get something done.
A long time ago I used to idly fancy being famous or having something named after me so that I would be remembered after I die. Then I asked myself, what is the point ? I'll be dead. I resolved to live as happy a life as I could, unfortunately defining happy is pretty difficult. When I am busy and don't take care of myself properly, or when I am stressed by money, I feel down. When I have cash, I don't have time, and when I have time...you can guess the rest.
This afternoon I felt sad, so I started cooking - feeling sad usually means I am hungry. I played some Billy Bragg and wrote this. Time for some more music now.